Coaches' Interview: Cheeba's Homecats

Name:Mike Dexter

Team:Cheeba’s Homecats (Team was named after family pet who has gone on to the great litter box in the sky. How many cats do you know who leave that kind of legacy behind? I’m just saying. That was some kind of pet.)

Years in CSFA: This is my 20th season.

Occupation: Head Football Coach- Cheeba’s Homecats. Moonlight as a pastor of Trailhead Christian Church. It is really the front for an extremist cult, but they haven’t found us yet. Montana is pretty big.

Interests beyond football: Family, church, reading, guitar, hunting, fishing, camping, good coffee, a warm fire, and cheesecake. I believe cheesecake and coffee will be served in Heaven. I don’t have it on strict authority, but I’m confident.

Why my team will win the CSFA championship: This is my 20th season. The stars are in alignment. I just wish I had more on my team. But, I like our chances. As long as my Mannings don’t get hurt, and TO would give me a TD now and then. The Bills wouldn’t make the college top 25. Well, they probably would, but nobody would be really impressed.

Why chicks dig fantasy football: They do? My wife thinks I’m nuts for playing this for 20 years. Are you saying she ain’t a chick? This interview is over.

Now the truly serious questions that separate man from beast.

Wilma or Betty? Ok, I’ll keep answering. Is Dino an option for this question?

Beatles or Elvis? I like both. But have to go with The King.

Secondary question if your answer was Beatles, Paul or John?

Priscilla. Sure sounds better than Wilma or Betty.

Which Stooge are you? I’m Booger, third cousin, twice removed. Sometimes you see me in the background. I’m the one with my finger up my nose.

Cubs or Cardinals? Braves. Rockies. And I really don’t feel sorry for the Cubs. They can keep losing.

Crime or punishment? Redemption my boys, Redemption. Say it out loud to yourself. Redemption. That is the order of the day. Praise and glory.

This is interview number five in a series of twelve. Each coach should feel free to add questions, especially in the second half of the interview which will allow those of us who have already suffered the opportunity for additional suffering. What could go wrong with that? Josh, you’re on the clock for next week.