Coache's Interview: Iowa PIK Acres

Name: Rick Rodrick

Team: Iowa PIK Acres

Years in CSFA: All of them. I made this whole thing up!

Occupation: Professor of Communication Studies at University of Wisconsin—La Crosse

Interests beyond football: Board Gaming; Model Railroading

Why my team will win the CSFA championship: The PIK Acres have periodically won championships in the past and I expect the patterns of the universe will eventually align in our favor again some day.

Why chicks dig fantasy football: It allows them an opportunity to follow NFL football by having a rooting interest in a number of different players from different teams. Pretty much the same reasons guys dig it.

Now the truly serious questions that separate man from beast.

Wilma or Betty? Elizabeth Perkins over Rosie O’Donnell

Beatles or Elvis? I am truly a child of the Beatles era. My first LP was not the Beatles but Beatles imitators called “The Merseyside Sound” which my trying-to-be-helpful mother could not distinguish from an actual Beatles’ album. After all, the haircuts were all the same!

Secondary question if your answer was Beatles, Paul or John? I loved the winking fun of “Paul is dead” in the 60s but the world truly became a smaller and meaner place when John was killed. He was my favorite Beatle although I love them all.

Which Stooge are you? I don’t really know the 3 stooges well. I never enjoyed their humor. Don or Steve could tell you which I am.

Cubs or Cardinals? NO! NO! A thousand times NO! Moving to Iowa at 13 was tough enough. Being surrounded by Cubs and Cardinal fans made it a walking nightmare, brrrrr. My two favorite baseball words are “Twins Win” (see 1987 and 1991 MLB seasons for specific reference).

Crime or punishment? Not so much.

Thank you, Matt, for this opportunity to share. Thank you coaching brethren for participating in this fun expercise!!

This is interview number four in a series of twelve. Each coach should feel free to add questions, especially in the second half of the interview which will allow those of us who have already suffered the opportunity for additional suffering. What could go wrong with that? Travis, you’re on the clock for next week.

Coache's Interview: Cedar Rapids Vi-Kings

Name: Mark Witham
1. Team: Cedar Rapids Vi-Kings

Years in CSFA: I don’t remember, but long enough to remember the typed results sent to us by mail and the phone calls to the commissioner to give our teams for the week

Occupation: Sales for Waste Management

Interests beyond football: church, marriage mentoring, golf, kids and family.

Why my team will win the CSFA championship: All around talent. We don’t depend on one or two guys to carry the team. We are a real team!

Why chicks dig fantasy football: Big bellied coaches and bald heads!

Now the truly serious questions that separate man from beast.
Wilma or Betty? Wilma. I am partial to red heads.

Beatles or Elvis? Elvis THE KING!
Secondary question if your answer was Beatles, Paul or John?

Which Stooge are you? Curly

Cubs or Cardinals? Cubs

Crime or punishment? Punishment

Note to all coaches in the league:
You guys are awesome. I am so glad those many years ago I was invited into the fraternity of gentlemen (Well, you know what I mean). I only hope I am in this thing long enough to actually meet everyone in person. I have about half the league in so in about another 15 years I will have reached my goal. It has been made very apparent in this league that it is not about the winning, but the relationships we make. Have a great season fighting for second place (I didn’t say who was going to be first, but you know who you are).
Coach Witham

This is interview number three in a series of twelve. Each coach should feel free to add questions, especially in the second half of the interview which will allow those of us who have already suffered the opportunity for additional suffering. What could go wrong with that? Rick, you’re on the clock for next week.

Coaches Interview: The Shermer Thunder

Name: Tyler Matteucci

Team: Shermer Tunder

Years in CSFA: Going on year number 2

Occupation: Student

Interests beyond football: Cooking, reading, and video games

Why my team will win the CSFA championship: Divine Intervention

Why chicks dig fantasy football: All the awesome math and stat projection sheets!

Now the truly serious questions that separate man from beast.

Wilma or Betty? Betty

Beatles or Elvis? Beatles

Secondary question if your answer was Beatles, Paul or John? Paul

Which Stooge are you? I consider myself to be the ring leader so I’ll have to say Moe.


Cubs or Cardinals? Cubs

Crime or punishment? Crime, getting punished is no fun.

This is interview number two in a series of twelve. Each coach should feel free to add questions, especially in the second half of the interview which will allow those of us who have already suffered the opportunity for additional suffering. What could go wrong with that? Mark Witham, you’re on the clock for next week.

Coache's Interview: The Hell Fire

Name: Matthew Clemens Team: Hell Fire Years in CSFA: This will be season fourteen. Championships: One (ask Steve the year, he's the only one who knows for sure). Occupation: author. I write crime fiction with my partner Max Allan Collins. Self-serving plug: The new book, You Can't Stop Me, will be out in March, 2010. Interests beyond football: Fantasy baseball, movies, books, and an unnatural relationship with golf. Why my team will win the CSFA championship: This would be the blind squirrel and acorn theory. Why chicks dig fantasy football: They don't. Chicks dig the long ball. Now the truly serious questions that separate man from beast. Wilma or Betty? Betty. Beatles or Elvis? Beatles. Secondary question if your answer was Beatles, Paul or John? Paul. Which Stooge are you? Well since I'm married and all wives are Moes, I am by default left with Larry, Curly, Shemp, and Curly Joe. My truest answer is I believe I'm a Curly but I'm probably just a Larry in Curly clothing. Cubs or Cardinals? Thankfully, I can defer here and say Astros/Red Sox. Crime or punishment? Made that one up, but I like crime way more than I like punishment. This is interview number one in a series of twelve. Each coach should feel free to add questions, especially in the second half of the interview which will allow those of us who have already suffered the opportunity for additional suffering. What could go wrong with that? Tyler, you're on the clock for next week.